Ruka's Feelings
by threatmantic
Summary: Ruka is thinking about his feelings and the day he gave Mikan to Natsume. It has been fifteen years since that day, what has changed? MxN, slight RxH


HELLO! I love writing Ruka fics, because I love him, well like he is my fifth most favorite character. Anyway, please read and review.

**Paring: **MikanxNatsume, RukaxMikan (one-sided), RukaxHotaru (I don't really like this couple, but whatever)

**Summary: **Ruka is thinking about his feelings and the day he gave Mikan to Natsume. It has been fifteen years since that day, what has changed.

**Disclaimer: **I do not like Gakuen Alice. 

**Ruka's POV**

I sighed, today was the day. The day of what you ask, well the day that my first love marries my best friend. Today is also the day that five years ago, I gave her up to him. Sadly I am still in love with that perky brunette, but her and my best friend are madly in love. Those two are the only two I have keep in touch with. Apparently Mikan has made sure to contact every single one of her friends. Even people she barely knew, but I guess that is Mikan for you.

I chuckled; Mikan was still the same girl as from when I first met her. Natsume, on the other hand, is completely different. He smiles and laughs. And for that I am grateful I gave Mikan up to Natsume. But I knew there was a low chance I would be able to get over my feelings for the hazel-eyed girl. However I kept my feelings for her a secret, I didn't want Natsume knowing. I remember that day so perfectly, but it is probably a blur to her. It wasn't an important moment of her life, as it was for me.

_Flashback_

_ We were all helping Mikan to escape the academy to live with her mother. Of course I had to accompany her to her mom, because I had the barrier Alice. _ _We were talking at first, but had decided to take a break, and that's when I told her._

_ "I feel so pathetic. Everyone trusted me so much. That I am the only who can protect Sakura right now," I sighed saying that out loud._

_ She looked at me with concern evident in her eyes and replied, "Ruka-pyon."_

_ My face flushed as I said the next lines, "If I think that after this I wouldn't be able to see you again, I wish that even for just a moment, time would stop right now. I can't believe that I can think of something like this at such a crucial time. Because it is the first time I've loved a girl so much. And that girl is you Sakura." I laughed, as I was on the verge of tears. I was being so selfish._

_ "Huh?" the dense girl commented. _

_ "I am sorry. I had really no intention of saying it. But, I am so pathetic to cry like this," I said now crying. Pathetic boy._

_ "Ruka-pyon," she said again. _

_ "Even if we're all apart, I will always pray, that one day you and Natsume will see each other again. I will always. I will always support the two of you. Wherever you will be, Natsume will definitely find you. When that time comes, notice Natsume. I believe that the both of you will definitely meet again," And that was the moment I had given her up to my best friend, knowing that they were fated. After all, there was no chance between her and me. _

_ Just as I said that she pulled me closer and wrapped her arms around me, "Sakura you are treating me like a kid."  
_

_ She flushed, "Sorry!"_

_ 'Despite this pain in my heart I feel. It is because I love the two of you, that I don't feel any regret. That I was able to meet you in this world. That I met you, I am glad,' I thought to myself. _

_ I took her hands, "I am alright now. I will protect you, whatever happens. Let's go. Along with everyone's thoughts entrusted upon me, I will make sure that you can escape to the outside world!" And that was the last time, I promised, I would love her, but I was wrong about that. _

_End of Flashback_

I felt something wet hit my hand, and I noticed I was crying.

"Oi, Ruka you okay?" A crimson eyed lad said entering the room I was sitting in.

I looked up at him and assured him with a smile, "Of course Natsume, why wouldn't I be?"

"Maybe because I am marrying the girl you love?"

My face flushed. HOW DID HE KNOW? "What are you talking about? I don't love Mikan," I stuttered.

Natsume smirked, "I am not as dense as her. I notice things, besides you are my best friend. I know you better than anyone."

I heaved a sigh, Natsume was right. He did know me better than anyone, and I feel a bit stupid for thinking that he wouldn't notice that I still loved his fiancé.

"Natsume, it doesn't matter. You love her and she loves you. I have no say in that."

"Okay bunny boy. I have to go, be sure to be ready by 5 p. m.," My best friend said exiting the room. I knew he knew that I was in pain.

For some reason, all I could do was reminiscence. My mind fluttered to the time the two were renuinted, once we graduated the Academy

_Flashback_

_ Now he we are, twenty years old and graduating. Natsume still has given everyone, expect me and Youchi, the cold shoulder. His heart had shattered once she left, and only when she returned would the pieces be reassembled. _

_ "Will the graduates please come up as named," Narumi-sensei spoke into the microphone._

_ "Sumire Shoudo, Kokoyormi Yome," Narumi called. Oh that's right, they were a couple now. _

_ "Anna U., Kitsume," Narumi announced. I chuckled, Narumi was calling up all the couples._

_ "Nonoko O., Yuu Tobita," He said. Another couple. Basically everyone, expect me, was paired off with someone. Narumi continued to rattle off names, most of them couples. Is Narumi doing that on purpose?_

_ "Ruka Nogi," I sighed as I sat up and got my diploma, and smiled for my mother's camera._

_ "And lastly Natsume Hyuuga," Natsume sat up emotionlessly and walked to the front of the stage. _

_ The valedictorian, who used to be Natsume, but was now Yuu, gave his speech and our graduation was complete. Natsume sighed, and I knew exactly what he was thinking, 'Now there is a lesser chance I will see 'her' again.'_

_ "Natsume!" A voice called out. I looked around to find the owner of this voice, and my eyes widened when I found out who it belonged to._

_ Natsume stood there wide eyed also, "P-polka," he stuttered. _

_ "That's not my name Natsume. It is Mikan!" She said as she approached Natsume and me. _

_ "M-Mikan," he stammered, still unsure it was her._

_ "Yes Natsume that is my name," she said smiling. Then she turned to face me, "Good to see you Ruka-pyon!" _

_ My face turned pink, "Yeah, you too Mikan." She flashed a smile and faced Natsume again._

_ "Neh, Natsume?" She asked, and he pulled her into a hug._

_ "I love you," he whispered, but I could still hear._

_ Mikan's face turned red, "Me too, Natsume!" And that is when they kissed. But from what I heard, it wasn't there first. And then I walked away, already heart broken. _

_End Flashback_

My door closed again that day, and well theirs, opened again. I laughed ironic right. However, my heart slowly started to fix itself, well until that day.

_Flashback_

_ I was strolling through the forest by Natsume's, Mikan's and my house (we are neighbors now), looking for my animal friends, when I heard a voice._

_ "Oi, Polka," my best friend started, "Marry me."_

_ Mikan laughed, "Of course!" He slipped on the ring on her finger and she went red. I couldn't bear to hear any more, so I left. _

_ "PIYO!" I called out looking for my friend for comfort._

_End of Flashback_

After I had recalled all of those moment in my life, I glanced at the clock, "CRAP! Natsume said I had to be ready by 5 P. M., it is 4:35 P.M.!" And with that I ran readying for the wedding.

I MADE IT IN TIME! Well, barely. Right as the clock struck 5; I ran in and took my place next to Natsume. After all, I was his best man.

"Wow Ruka, almost late?" Natsume chuckled.

"Shut up Natsume!" I whispered, "It is about to start."

The music began and it was the instrumental to, 'Time to Say Goodbye.' Mikan came down the aisle, looking GORGEUOS! Natsume was bright red, but he was smiling. Narumi was linking arms with her bringing her to Natsume. And you do not even want to know how Narumi looked, let's just say if he was a girl, he would be one of the prettiest girls I have ever seen. Second to Mikan. When Mikan reached the altar, both Natsume, and Mikan flushed.

The priest rambled a bit, but finally got to the big question.

"Do you Natsume Hyuuga take Mikan Sakura to be your lawfully wedded wife?" The priest asked.

Natsume smirked, "Only if you call her Polka."

Mikan became angry, but didn't say anything.

"Okay, do you Natsume Hyuuga take Polka to be your lawfully wedded wife?" The priest tried for the second time.

"I do," He said with a blush evident on his face.

"And do you Polka take Natsume Hyuuga to be your lawfully wedded husband?" The priest asked hopping for no interruptions.

Mikan sighed, "Sadly I do."

"By the power infested in my, I know pronounce you, husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride."

Natsume lifted Mikan's vial from her face and stared into her eyes as he moved into kiss her. Than their lips met, and tadah they were married. And I was broken on the inside.

After the wedding, we had a 'party' for a matter of words. Natsume and Mikan went off to go dance, and me, well here I was all alone. Anna and Kitsume were dancing, Yuu and Nonoko and Koko and Sumire.

"Is that you bunny boy?" A stoic voice said, and I immediately knew who it was.

"I-Imai? What are you doing here?" I questioned stunned by her appearance here. She hasn't seen anyone since she moved to England after Mikan left.

"I had to see my best friend get married," she said with a soft smile on her face, and for unknown reasons, I blushed. "Now excuse me, I have to go congratulate the baka." And with that Hotaru left to go see Mikan. But Hotaru just showed me something in the minute we spent together. Where one door closes completely another opens.

Please review. Thanks for reading. Sorry the wedding was kind of rushed. I didn't really know how to write about weddings…;D Should I continue?


End file.
